Here I am again, having one of those nights where I'm tired as hell wish I could sleep but unfortunately for me the brain is ticking over time. I'm just considering all my options out loud before I decide. At the moment I'm studying (well meant to be) for my cert 3 in childcare. I love the work but hate the text book shit. I know I should just crunch down an get it over an done with so this will be my personal goal for the next few months. After I have finished my studies I'm still tossing over the UK idea. Looked at a few jobs (for a nanny). The families seem really nice. There was one single mum with twins, that would be great.
I don't know what I'm so worried about. If nothing has changed by the end of the year I might as well go, there's really nothing keeping me here and no one to really miss me. I'm sure the folks would but they'd get over it. I just need a change I need something new to do. Nothing excites me anymore. I need a challenge or someone to challenge me. Everyone is so god damn agreeable it pisses me off.
I don't like to give up on anything but this time I have had to. I cant make magic happen where what I really want will come knocking on my door. I just wanted to be given a chance. Isn't it better to try than not have tried at all etc... all that bullshit. I'm having a whinge because I would like to have someone make me smile for a change than me having to be little miss fix it an run around after other people. I know this is making no sense but that's what happens when you don't get any sleep. Next I'll be seeing those magic fairies that live outback, maybe if I'm lucky they'll grant me that chance that I figure I deserve.
It's true, it's me
on a good day :)
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